Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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