Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize