I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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