I love how my cats smell like pot.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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