So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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