we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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