Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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