Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize