break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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