He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize