So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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