he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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