my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize