Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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