how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
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The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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