she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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