I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
please don't ironically join a cult
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