Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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