Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
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not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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