Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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