if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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