we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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