I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize