my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She announced her abortion via fbk
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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