R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize