At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize