Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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