Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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