Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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