She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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