after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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