So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize