he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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