just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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