I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize