woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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