i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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