Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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