i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize