You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize