Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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