oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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