I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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