Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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