Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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