were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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