She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize