these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
