i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you didnt know i had herpes?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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