My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize