Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
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wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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