Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
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All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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